


Heart of Glass

by Bruxish



Category: That '70s Show
Genre: Bisexuality, Comfort, Confusion, Drugs, Eric Forman - Freeform, Eric being confused, Fighting, Ganja - Freeform, Hanging Out, Homophobia, Hyde being a dumb lad, M/M, Past family shit, Self-Discovery, Slurs, Steven Hyde - Freeform, That 70s Show - Freeform, Violence, Weed, a lot of shit I don’t remember, eric and hyde, just a couple of guys being dudes, just being gay, oblivious love, steven and eric, wacky tabbacy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2020-07-19 10:01:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19972207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bruxish/pseuds/Bruxish
Summary: (I wrote this in 2017, but due to a lot of people liking it, I have decided to update this story more! The title of the story is a song from 1978 by Blondie)Eric has known Hyde all his life, they've gone to school together since elementary and haven't left each others sides since. Of course, Eric would think that he knew everything about his best friend only to find out he knows nothing at all. Hyde has still been sheltering a part of himself from everyone and it's time to be vulnerable for once. Eric discovers that he doesn't know much about himself either.





	1. Chapter 1

The basement is full as usual in the Forman Household, Jackie and Kelso were fighting about something the entire time since they arrived at Eric’s house. Eric learned to tune them out over time, fiddling with a random string sticking out of the couch as the two bickered and Fez putting his two cents in every once in a while which only seemed to stir the pot.

“Okay, I was looking at her, I’ll admit that but I wasn’t checking her out! Come on Jackie.” Kelso said as he tried to wrap his arms around her and she shoved him away, “Don’t touch me, Michael.” She crossed her arms over her chest and turned her head away from Kelso.

Eric laughed once he raised his head up from the couch, “If Kelso was looking at any girl, it is likely that he was checking her out.” He added, he knew if he continued to get them both riled up they’d just leave. Eric was not in the mood today to hear them fight.

“Thank you, Eric.” Kelso said exasperatedly as he gestured over to him and Jackie looked over at Kelso, “Yes, thank you, Eric, for showing me how much a pig Kelso is!” She got up and headed out the door, slamming it shut. Kelso staying seated for only two seconds before he got up and followed her.

Hyde groaned, “God, what don’t they fight about? I feel like I’m getting gray hairs just listening to them every day.” He set his boats down on the coffee table and Eric looked back to see Hyde staring at him through his sunglasses. Eric had noticed that Hyde’s gaze was on him since Jackie and Kelso got here.

“Yeah, they’re like feisty cats.” Fez nodded with a laugh and Donna finally seemed to come to life, “Hyde what do you keep lookin’ at over there? Are you checking out Eric or something?” She joked with a wide smile on her face. Eric couldn’t help but stiffen at the comment and snorted, he felt embarrassed for Hyde but couldn’t say why.

Hyde’s gaze snapped away from Eric as he looked over at Donna, “Please, he’s the last person I’d ever check out. If his sister were here, that’s a different story.” He said coolly with a cheeky grin on his face, Hyde knew any talk about Forman’s sister would bother him and it worked.

“Ugh, can we please not talk about her...You know, I’m glad she hasn’t shown her face around here in months.” He grumbled and Fez pouted, “Good for you but it’s a shame for us, I never got a turn with her.”

“Shut up, Fez!” Eric yelled at him and Fez put his hands up defensively, “All I am saying is that she is missing out on some sweet candy.” And that was Donna’s queue to go home, “As much as I love talking to all of you. I don’t want to hear Fez refer to himself as candy.” She laughed and patted Eric’s knee a few times before she headed out the door herself.

Eric watched Donna walk out with a wide smile on his face, and Fez whistled, snapping Eric’s attention away from the closed door. Eric felt the embarrassment grow again as he looked away from the door, a little too obvious.

“You have the big ol’ hots for Donna.” Fez grinned and looked to Hyde for agreement, Hyde showed no sign of amusement since he’s known Eric for so long. Fez was always late to pick up on what most of the group already notice, but then again, Fez was one of the newer members.

“I...Well, I wouldn’t call it that.” Eric smiled to himself and rubbed the back of his neck. Fez shot up with his eyebrows raised, “I was right? You like Donna?” He questioned excitedly and Hyde grew hostile at his words.

“God, Fez, just sit down it’s not that big of a deal.” Hyde answered for Eric, “He’s been chasing Donna since what? the second grade? You’re not even gonna get with her, anyway.” He snapped and Eric felt a wave of anger grow in his chest. He didn’t understand why Hyde was all of a sudden acting out in this way. 

Hyde’s sudden change in mood threw the whole atmosphere off, it was feeling heavier but Hyde still kept his cool demeanor even though his new tone was anything but calm. Eric could tell that Fez didn’t really notice since Hyde was usually snappish at the group.

Eric looked over at Hyde with tightness in his jaw, “Why does it matter to you if I like Donna or not? it’s not like it will make a difference to you at all, anyway.” And Hyde huffed a laugh, “Please, Forman, getting with Donna will fuck up the whole group. It’s already bad enough we have to deal with Kelso and Jackie’s tongues down each other’s throats every day.”

It was Eric’s turn to stand up, Fez watched with his mouth closed shut, the quietest Fez had ever been during situations like these. “It’s not like you even like half the people in this group, to begin with, you don’t care at all. If things went south, you’d just leave everyone in the dust like you always do.” Eric was getting heated with every word, he felt the regret in the back of his head yelling at him to stop before he made things worse.

This might have been the first real fight Eric and Hyde had in a long time. Hyde had his eyebrows furrowed and stood up, getting into Forman’s personal space.

“You do not understand what I am like, I’ve been around you since elementary and I haven’t left since. I’m still here aren’t I? And you think I am going to just leave like that?” Eric noticed the little pain that Hyde held in his voice as he gestured to himself, “You‘re fucking pathetic.” 

“Have you seen your parents?” Eric snapped back louder, “I wouldn’t be surprised if you left just like them.” He felt the words unravel from his mouth like it wasn’t even him who said it. That’s what did it.

Eric didn’t know why he let Hyde’s words get to him like today, to make everything escalate so quickly. But, before he knew it, Hyde, and he were wrestling each other on the floor.

Eric didn’t know why Hyde didn’t throw real punches at him, he mostly just shoved him around like his intentions weren’t to hurt him. Eric felt Fez pull him back out, “Guys, guys...Fighting will not resolve the problem. But, maybe...A few beers can?” He rose his eyebrows but Hyde and Eric didn’t really care for what he had to say.

Hyde’s glasses were no longer on his face as he and Eric’s eyes were locked on each other. He rubbed a hand on his face before shaking his head, “Whatever, man. I’m going home...Get with Donna.” He huffed and acting as if his words didn‘t sting.

Eric just stood there as he watched Hyde walked past him and slammed the garage door behind him on the way out. Fez said something incoherent to him and he nodded before Fez finally left too.

It was quiet since his parents were at work, thankfully his dad was here to hear the fight in the basement. Eric stood alone in the basement and saw Hyde’s sunglasses on the floor.

He bent down to pick them up and noticed a crack in one of the lens, another stab of guilt in his chest. He shouldn’t have gone that far with what he said, it was an unspoken rule not to mention anything personal like that and Eric crossed the line.

Eric folded up the glasses and headed upstairs to his room, he didn’t want to lose his longtime friend to a petty fight like this. Over the potential idea of Eric ever getting with Donna.

Hyde was right, if things didn’t turn out too well with Donna it would really mess up their little group. And to Eric, their group was a big deal, he’s known these people for so long. He knows he’d probably never find people like them again.

That was the scariest part, losing the only people he was comfortable within his house. He flopped in bed and rubbed the cracked lens with his finger, a sense of melancholy washed over him as he realized Hyde might not talk to him for a while.

Especially now it would be awkward for both of them to just talk again. He closed his eyes and kept his hand curled around the glasses; he ended up drifting off past dinner and into the next morning of his dad yelling at him to get his ass ready for school.

He didn’t sleep all that great despite having slept the rest of his night away, his mind was still racing about what had happened between him and Hyde. Eric’s stomach churned at the thought of even seeing Hyde at school, the broken glasses still in his hand, he shoved them into his pocket and decided to only change his shirt.

Eric hurried down the stairs and avoided the talk of breakfast, saying he was in a rush to get something at school before class. The white lie earned him an early ride in the car and a chance to skip school.

He wasn’t really the type to skip school since it left a slight anxious feeling in his gut whenever he did. The thought of running into Red while playing hooky would do that to anybody. Eric parked the car at the hub they usually go to, wanting to be alone and relax without running into his friends and have them notice that he wasn’t exactly himself.

It was oddly strange, being alone at the hub in the morning. Quiet music, barely anyone around. It matched the feeling in his gut. He had Hyde’s sunglasses sitting in front of him on the table. He furrowed his brows; he was acting like a girl who had just gotten broken up with or like Hyde had left him forever. It almost felt like the latter.

Hours must have passed as he sat around by himself because more people appeared and it became much more lively. He crossed his arms on the table and rested his head, trying to come up with a way to confront Hyde, how to apologize without a basic ‘sorry’.

Deep in thought, he closed his eyes for a while and took a deep breath in, he saw a shadow looming over him and he opened his eyes to see Hyde staring down at him with his hands in his pockets.

“You got my sunglasses,” Hyde said as he looked away from Eric and over to the windows, Eric noticed the slightly awkward stance of Hyde. He seemed much different without his sunglasses acting as a shield for him.

Eric quickly straightened up and didn’t know how to come up with a good excuse for carrying his sunglasses around, “Uh, yeah...The glass cracked.” He muttered and fiddled with his hands under the table, Hyde bent over to pick them up off the table and examined them.

He had to say something to Hyde, about the whole situation yesterday, it was so bizarre it has to be a dream but the sunglasses said otherwise. Eric couldn’t meet Hyde’s face looking everywhere around him, the napkins on the table, the windows outside, anything.

“About yesterday-” He began before Hyde cut him off, “We don’t need to talk about it,” Hyde interrupted before hanging the sunglasses from his shirt and turning on his heels, “I didn’t think you were the type to play hooky, Forman.”

Eric felt himself quickly moving after Hyde out the door, “Hyde, Hyde just...Wait dammit.” He said as he grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him around. A little too close to Hyde he looked away and took a step back. Hesitantly moving his hand away from his shoulder, “Listen, man, please...Whatever upset you about yesterday-”

“What makes you think something upset me?” Hyde interrupted, looking over Eric with a cold expression as usual. But Eric pressed on, he didn’t want to make the same mistakes as yesterday.

“You were just...Acting so unhyde, I noticed something was bothering you and I- what I am saying is...I’m sorry, okay? I-I stepped outline and I don’t know why I said those things about you because I don’t mean it. I… I don’t want that to make us stop hanging out, whatever that even was.” He rambled on and on, not looking at Hyde for a while before he finally met his eyes and saw something he wasn’t able to put his finger on.

Hyde’s lips quirked in a faint smile as he listened to Eric speak, “Well, apology accepted, Forman.” He sighed out and grabbed his glasses off from his neck to put them on. “What was it yesterday, though?” Eric continued to question, feeling the tension from his shoulders ease as he walked with Hyde to his car.

Hyde shrugged as he put his sunglasses on, leaving them to sit crooked on his nose as he looked back at Eric. “Kelso and Jackie were just really getting on my nerves this time.”

Eric laughed as he stared at Hyde with his sunglasses on, “I don’t think you should wear them looking like that.” He shook his head and leaned against the drivers’ side of his car, “I think you’re better without your sunglasses, anyway.”

Hyde paused and rolled his eyes, “Don’t get sappy on me, Forman.” He said as he walked over to the passenger side door, “Hey, hey...Who said I was giving you a ride?” Eric huffed as Hyde welcomed himself into the car and buckled up, “I did, now hurry up before we get caught skipping.” That allowed Eric to remember the anxieties that were settling in his stomach and drove off with Hyde.

Hyde stared out the window with his sunglasses in one hand, his thumb rubbing the cracked glass in slow circular motions as he kept quiet. Eric glanced over at him for a second, he knew Hyde was thinking about something but he would not push him this time to say anything, he had already pushed his buttons enough lately.

“So...We can’t go back to the house because if my dad catches us there we’ll both end up dead.” He half laughed and tapped his fingers against the wheel, not liking the quiet too much, he reached over and turned up the music to ease his nerves. He got on Hyde’s good side again, at least he hoped he was on Hyde’s good side, he didn’t want to go back to what happened yesterday.

“Yeah...Red is a hardass.” Hyde commented after a while looking over at Eric for a few minutes like he wanted to say something to him, It made Eric tense up. He couldn’t help but feel nervous around Hyde like this after the fight they had gotten into yesterday. Hyde cleared his throat and turned down the music once again, Eric keeping his eyes fixated on the road, “Eric, listen…” He mumbled as he stared back out the window and shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

Out of habit, he put his sunglasses on his face and pushed them up the bridge of his nose, “I’m only gonna say this once all right? So listen up, I...I’m sorry about blowing up on you like that, man.” He sounded like he really had to push the sentence past his lips, his eyes closed, trying his best to pretend Eric wasn’t even there at all. “I had a lot going through my head yesterday and Michael with Jackie just made it worse. It already sucked that Donna and Fez were there, I dunno.” He mumbled and Eric just nodded along, Hyde was never the type to say things like this, he would give a half-assed sorry and call it a day but everything about Hyde in these moments was nothing like the Hyde he sees every day.

Eric stopped at the red light and took this chance to look over at Hyde who was doing everything to not even catch Eric’s eye, “No, it’s fine...Really, man.” was all he could really muster and Hyde looked over at him and visually cringed, “Ugh, come on. Don’t get all sappy like that all right? We’re just going to leave it at that.” He added quickly and sat up in his seat, “What do you mean?” Eric laughed as he turned his attention back on the road.

“That look, the ‘sympathy sap’ look.” He shook his head, “When you get all sappy, you get a certain look on your face. Knock it off.” He held a faint grin on his face, clearly teasing Eric as he looked back out the window again. 

“I’m sorry about...Breaking your glasses, man. I can buy you new ones.” Eric let out, the guilt was getting to him since Hyde had those glasses for as long as he could remember. He didn’t know if they were important to him or if it was just what he liked to wear, besides, he wasn’t about to have Hyde hold this over his head when he needs something.

“It’s fine, they still do their job, don’t they?” He shrugged, “Where are we heading to anyway?” He asked as he leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest, finally settling into his seat. “Oh, I dunno...Wanna head to the water tower? I was kind of just planning on driving around for a while but if my dad finds out that I’m burning through gas I won’t hear the end of it.” 

“Fine by me, I just want to get the hell away from school...Speaking of which, why’d you really skip?” Hyde asked curiously which caused Eric to grow embarrassed since it seemed silly to him now that things were okay between them. 

Eric awkwardly laughs for a second, “I was scared, well- not exactly scared but...Well, I didn’t want to face you at school.” He gripped the wheel a little tighter as he stuttered and stumbled over his words, he didn’t know how to word what he wanted to say to Hyde because if he made it sound too ‘sappy’ it would make Hyde uncomfortable and if he made it too serious it would make Hyde uncomfortable. 

“In the moment, I thought that...You wouldn’t have wanted to talk to me anymore or something and if that was the case I didn’t want to make it anymore awkward.” He spat out like he was choosing his words carefully.

“Well...If I was really mad at you, I wouldn’t have held back any punches.” Hyde commented as Eric parked just a little far from the water tower, Eric slid out of his seat and felt the embarrassment prickling his ears. 

Now thinking back to all the earlier events, he was acting very much like a pansy. He was overthinking the whole situation earlier, of course Hyde wouldn’t have thrown their childhood friendship down the drain like that, over something so petty.

Hyde shoved Eric’s shoulder as he walked past him and headed off in front which startled Eric since he didn’t know Hyde had gotten out of the car yet. Quickly picking up the pace to walk alongside him, he cleared his throat, he wasn’t exactly used to being alone with Hyde like this anymore. 

“What?” Hyde asked and Eric turned his head to look over at Hyde, “I didn’t say anything yet.” He said with confusion in his voice, “Yeah, but I can tell you want to ask me something.” He sighed out in that ‘annoyed-but-not-annoyed’ tone of his.

Eric rolled his eyes and huffed, “Whatever, man.” even though he did want to ask him a million questions, curiosity getting the best of him apparently since he was still pondering over why Hyde was mad. Does he not like Donna anymore? Was something going on that he didn’t know about? His heart sunk a little as his mind wandered to another question, Did Hyde like Donna? 

Eric swallowed at that, quickly shaking it from his head but it just kept popping back up again. Hyde was better with Donna anyway, Hyde did seem like a guy that Donna would go out with. Besides, he never did go for it when he had the chance. He had been given so many opportunities to get with Donna but never really took them and he didn’t know why he didn’t if he liked Donna so much.

“You coming or what?” Hyde called as he started to climb up to the water tower and Eric quickly snapped out of it, “Yeah, yeah I’m coming.” He shouted back up to him and hurriedly started to climb up, still distracted, he almost slipped on a step and rushed to keep up with Hyde. 

Hyde offered his hand to Eric to let him up the water tower, “The last thing we need is another ‘Kelso’ accident up here.” He squeezed Eric’s hand as he pulled him up and his hand still lingered even though Eric was standing just fine. Eric picked up on this and gave another awkward chuckle as he pulled away from Hyde, “What? Worried I’m a moron like Kelso or something?” 

Hyde shoved his hand back in his pocket and didn’t say anything as he shrugged, no snarky comment, not even an unnecessary punch in the shoulder. Everything was just off and Eric couldn’t put his finger on it, it made him feel uneasy and nervous. The thought of Hyde liking Donna came back in his mind, causing more self deprecating thoughts to roll in. 

He leaned against the railing while Hyde stood back, his eyebrows scrunched up as his mind began to cloud with this thought, he just had to ask him now. “Hyde?” He felt himself grow tense and he held onto the railing before turning around to see Hyde standing close behind him, his hands still in his pockets as he hummed back.

“Do...I don’t know, like Donna or something?” He asked as he turned around, his back leaning against the rusty railing and hands still holding on, he didn’t look at Hyde since he was still being quiet about it. He knew it, his throat felt like it was tightening up even more as if he was going to cry but he knew he wasn’t.

“Listen, man...I know I haven’t made any moves on her, I-I know compared to you I am not much of a match, y’know?” Eric mumbled and looked at Hyde with an almost pained look, “I just…” Hyde interrupted with a laugh and took his sunglasses off, wiping off an imaginary tear from his face and leaving Eric more confused than ever.

“That’s what you’ve been thinking about? Oh, man…” he sighed out with a wide grin on his face, “I mean...Yeah, Donna is hot and all but she isn't my type. I say things about her just to mess with you, man.” He finally gave Eric’s shoulder a punch and Eric laughed as he let go of the railing to rub his shoulder.

“That’s not What was going on yesterday anyway.” Hyde countined and he learnt against the railing next to Eric, looking out in the distance, “I dunno, alright? I don’t know what is going on with me…For a while now.” Hyde’s expression was softer than what Eric was used to seeing, he knew this was a rare moment he could share with Hyde so he gave Hyde his full attention.

Hyde continued to fiddle with his broken sunglasses and took a deep breath, looking down at the trees, “If you say anything about this to anyone I will definitely kick your ass, Forman.” He said quietly and Eric shifted out of curiosity, “What is it?” He asked gently, wanting Hyde to spill whatever it was, he was relieved that it wasn’t about Donna and was glad to have gotten that out of the way.

Hyde visibly stiffened up and he bit his lip, he went quiet for awhile again and rubbed his face before taking a step back, “I think I’m…” He muttered quietly, Eric wasn’t used to seeing this side of Hyde and he had a feeling where this was going but he wasn’t going to interrupt Hyde. 

“I think I’m Bisexual, man.” His voice cracked a bit as he gripped his glasses and stared directly at Eric, Eric was speechless even if he felt something like this coming. “What...What does that even mean?” He asked genuinely, “Is that like...You’re gay?” Hyde swallowed hard and looked down at his feet, “Kind of? I don’t know, man...I mean, I’m not… I’m not gay, because I still go with girls but…” he trailed off and began to feel like an idiot for even saying anything to Eric.

“But...You like guys too?” Eric finished this time and cleared his throat since he never talked about this topic with anybody before and it was slightly uncomfortable for him and he could tell Hyde wasn’t too keen on it either. “Yeah, I’m bisexual.” He repeated, mostly to confirm that he did say it out loud. “I just...I hadn’t said anything yet because I didn’t know how you guys would react, I’ve...I’ve been with a few guys before so I know this feeling or whatever the hell this is, isn’t fake or going away anytime soon.”

He spoke in a more angry tone and stared down at his sunglasses before chucking them roughly and watching them disappear past the trees


	2. Confused and Hurting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyde finally lets go of some of his shame and Eric is happy to see a new side of his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, this was kind of rushed since I was still debating on putting out another chapter since this was so old. I felt a little cringy reading it lmaoo

The sunglasses tumbled through the trees quietly out of sight, Hyde took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he slowly tucked his hands into his pockets. A weight was lifted off of him, he turned to look at Eric without opening his eyes. He could feel the judgement and the heaviness of the air began to circle him again almost so thick he couldn’t breathe it in. 

Hyde opened his eyes and stared at Eric intensely without saying anything, the words were finally sinking into Eric and he didn’t really know what to say in a situation like this. This was...All too different, too odd for him to know what to say.

“Go ahead, call me a fag and tell everybody. I don’t care.” Hyde snapped suddenly and started to head toward the ladder, Eric took a deep breath as he followed behind, “No, Hyde...I wouldn’t do that to you. You know that right? I may not...Understand whatever this is, but... come on, man. I will try, alright?” 

“Of course you don’t get it because nobody does! Have you ever heard of anybody out there that is like me? Do you know how many times I’ve been told I was confused and all that fucking...Bullshit that I just began to believe it?” Hyde turned and it pained Eric to see Hyde like this, he was truly hurting here. His voice cracking, the raw anger written on his face. He hadn’t ever seen Hyde like this, with so much readable emotion on his face. 

“I’m...I’m scared, man. I don’t know what to do.” Hyde looked away and rubbed his eyes with one hand, his head hung low toward the ground, Eric was hesitant as he walked over to him and slowly wrapped his arms around his friend. “Hey...Hey, man. It’ll be alright, this is between us.” He spoke quietly like Hyde was a spooked animal.

Eric didn’t expect Hyde to hold onto him so tight, pressing his forehead into Eric’s shoulder and shook gently. Everything felt like a dream and so out of character, he didn’t let him go. He kept his arms locked around him and Hyde didn’t bother to lift his face up to look at Eric. 

After a moment, Hyde took a deep breath and relaxed, “God...Is this what it feels like to be a pussy?” He asked and slowly let Eric go as he rubbed at his face some more, “Ugh, maybe I really am just turning gayer.” He muttered and felt more at ease when Eric laughed at his half-hearted joke. 

Eric’s arms were still around Hyde and couldn’t find it in himself to let go just yet and Hyde didn’t make any indication that he was going to pull away just yet, slowly on their own accord they began to pull away from each other and Eric could see that Hyde’s eyes and nose were a bit red. 

“Do you...Want to head back, we don’t have to talk about th-” 

“I’m fine...Alright? I’m cool.” Hyde quickly pointed out as he straightened himself up, something was still eating at Hyde but he wasn’t ready to push everything out of him today. It was different to see Hyde without his sunglasses on, but it was a good kind of different. 

He seemed less closed off, more content with himself. Hyde was radiating a new vibe that allowed Eric to understand that their bond has only grown from this and not destroyed it. Hyde looked up at the sky as he rolled shoulders, “Yeah...I think it’s about time we head out.” He huffed and made his way down the ladder.

Eric didn’t say much as they walked back to the car and drove back to his house, walking inside with his dad sitting on the couch. His eyes not lifting away from the newspaper as Eric closed the door behind him and Hyde, “So, how was school.” Red sighed as he flipped another page of his newspaper. 

Eric tensed up and stumbled over his words, “Oh, uh...It was fine, the usual. We’re pretty beat, so...We’ll be heading downstairs.” Red hummed in amusement and folded up his newspaper, “Really? Because the school doesn’t end for...Oh I don’t know,” He glanced at his watch, “Another hour and a half it looks like.” feeling the color drain from his face, Hyde piped up, “Maybe you need to get your watch fixed because school ends at this time every day.” He lied blatantly.

“I’m not taking the word coming from the biggest hookie of them all.” Red pointed, “Boy, where are you glasses? I can actually see your face for once.” He grunted as he got up out of his chair. That was Eric’s queue to jump in before Hyde went off on him and got them both into deeper shit, “I know, we skipped today, It was my fault.” Red looked over at Eric and rose his eyebrows, “Obviously it was both your faults, we got dumbass 1 and dumbass 2 burning through gas and skipping school all willy-nilly without a care in the world!”

Hyde, forgetting that he wasn’t wearing is sunglasses anymore, rolled his eyes at Red talking and nodded along with his words. Eric felt the anxiety rising in his body, “I know, Dad...I’m sorry, okay?” Red laughed, “You better be sorry when I take the car away from you for two weeks, so have fun walking.” He shook his head and let Eric leaving the living room with Hyde.

Eric knew that he was going to hear more nagging from his mom, but Red went easy on him this time and he was just happy that it was only for two weeks. He went to the basement and spread out on the long couch pressing his face into the arm and letting out a long groan. 

Hyde plopped down in his usual seat and propped his feet up on the coffee table, “Wow, I’m surprised he didn’t really go off on us this time or threaten to shove his foot in either of our asses.” He grinned and Eric could feel the snarkiness of it in his voice, “Yeah but I am still grounded for two weeks from my car.” 

Eric rolled over and stared at the ceiling with his arms crossed over his chest, the day was just getting better and better. He closed his eyes, hearing Hyde get up and move to the back of the basement and slowly his shadow began to loom over him. 

He opened his eyes slowly and stared back at Hyde with a joint in his mouth, “You know what’ll make you feel better, though?” He asked as he lit it up and dragged it in, the glowing tip eating away at the rest of the paper.

Eric stared at him for a moment and tried to think of what to do, “You know...I can’t really argue these situations.” He said as he reached his hand up and Hyde passed the joint to him as a thick smoke unfurled from his nose.

Eric always had to prep himself before he took the joint to his lips, reminding himself to just relax and not think about it too hard. He slowly took it in his mouth and slowly began to breathe in. Feeling the smoke pour into his lungs and causing them to itch slightly. He continued to drag out of it and tried to ignore the itching sensation before he passed it back to Hyde. Holding it in his lungs for a few seconds longer before sighing out heavily.

“See what I mean? The day is already ten times better.” Hyde smiled and Eric shook his head, trying not to cough since Hyde will make fun of him till the day he dies. Eric slowly sat up and lit up a few incense so that it would mask the scent of pot in the room in case his dad ever came in for any reason.

“Isn’t it weird?” Eric asked suddenly, he wasn’t really feeling it, he was still making coherent thoughts and he just wanted it to all get swept away. “Is what weird?” Hyde asked back in a sigh as he passed the joint back to Eric.

“Well...Usually it is us and the group smoking together.” He muttered as he brought it back to his lips and Hyde shrugged, “Yeah, well today is different and I really needed it to get through the rest of the day.” He muttered as he took it back from Eric.

They passed the joint silently between each other back and forth, neither of them talking much. Slowly the waves of the high started getting to Eric, feeling warm and comfortable. He got up and played a random record, he didn’t pay attention to what record it was or if he even liked whatever was on it.

“What’s it like? You know...Liking guys and girls.” He blurted out after a while in the silence and Hyde stared up at the ceiling, a thin layer of smoke circling his head for a moment. “I don’t know, it’s really just a feeling, you know? Like how any guy that likes girls would feel.” He shrugged, “You just, feel the same way about both.” 

“What the hell, so you have like unlimited options.” Eric furrowed his eyebrows and Hyde burst out laughing, “If only you were a magnet like me, you’d find more girls but then again they all probably think you’re gay.” He teased with the widest smile on his face. 

“Well, I mean...If they all heard about the Buddy Morgan situation.” Hyde tsked, Buddy, he didn’t really like that guy and he had his reasons, though the group just thought he didn’t like him because he was gay.

“Shut up! It’s his fault for reading the situation wrong anyway. I mean, I liked Buddy, but not like that. Obviously.” He cringed slightly as he felt embarrassment heat up on his face, his mind slowly remembering the events with Buddy and he rubbed at his eyes. 

He stared at Hyde and could tell that he was growing upset, he could never really read what would make Hyde angry or upset. Sometimes it was everything and nothing at all, but especially during times like this he struggled to read him all together. 

“What’s up with you?” Eric asked and Hyde shrugged it off, “Nothin’, I just shouldn’t have brought up, Buddy.” He mumbled as he threw his head back against his chair, Eric’s confusion only grew at his statement.

“Why what’s wrong with Buddy?” Eric felt himself began to tense up, maybe Hyde was angry with him about something? Maybe Buddy was a bad guy? His mind started racing and he couldn’t catch up.

“That’s the problem, nothin’ was wrong with Buddy. He had everything in common with you and you had just barely met the guy!” Hyde crossed his arms and closed his eyes. 

Eric laughed loudly, “Wait, wait...You were jealous of Buddy begin my friend?” He grinned, “Hyde was jealous of somebody?” He said out loud and shook his head, “Good god, this is going in the record books.”

Hyde finally stood up out of his chair and huffed, “I was NOT, jealous of frickin’ Buddy Morgan, alright?” He walked over to Eric and pointed at him, Eric stared up at him and snorted. Unable to really take Hyde seriously, “You were totally jealous of him.” He grinned and shoved Hyde. 

Naturally, they began to fight unlike yesterday this one was playful. Eric shoved his elbow in Hyde’s face as he tried to flail around, his body contorted awkwardly on the couch causing him to tap out and shout Uncle. 

“Damn, right.” Hyde laughed, feeling accomplished with making Eric tap out. He stared at him a few seconds longer, his chest still close to Eric’s. Eric could feel Hyde’s heart racing and beating against his own. Eyes meeting Hyde’s, he felt something deep inside him twist and his face grew hotter by the second as Hyde slowly leant forward.  
Eric didn’t know whether to welcome it or pull away, his mind fogging over again and he relaxed as Hyde hesitantly pressed his lips against Eric’s. This felt oddly welcoming, unlike the time Buddy had kissed him, this one was softer and gentle almost like Hyde was afraid to make any wrong move.

He closed his eyes and adjusted himself on the couch more comfortably, not pulling away or moving much else besides to grab Hyde’s face, the stubble on his cheeks rough against Eric’s hands that he almost forgot he was kissing Hyde.

Eric slowly opened his eyes and felt Hyde pull away, staring at Hyde before he too began to open his eyes. Eric had never seen Hyde look so relaxed in his life, the most natural Hyde has ever looked to him. He realized he must have been staring awhile and looked away from him. 

Staring into the couch cushion, he didn’t have anything to say, He hesitantly pulled his hands away from Hyde’s face and tucked them into his pits. Hyde quickly scrambled off of him and felt he had done something wrong, he knew this completely ruined everything they had just fixed in the beginning. 

This wasn’t supposed to happen between them at all, Hyde crawled off the couch and tried to collect himself, “I’m heading home, Forman.” He said quickly as Eric sat up and watched him walk out the door in the basement without saying anything back.

Replaying that moment in his mind over and over again before he drifted off into a deep sleep, curled up on the small dingy couch.


	3. Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like the inconsistent updates!

Eric woke up to the sound of his mom doing laundry, a blanket was thrown on top of him and he assumed it was from her, he groaned as he stretched out and still felt a bit foggy from hanging around Hyde earlier.

Hyde, he immediately flushed up as he thought about what he and Hyde did earlier. The room still smelling faintly of weed but thankfully the incense were overpowering the smell of weed and masking it with patchouli. His mom looked over at Eric and huffed, “Good you’re awake, your father told me that you decided to skip school today and play hookie!” She spoke in an almost sing-song tone. 

Eric sat up and rubbed his eyes as she continued to rant on and on about education and being disappointed as she hurriedly shoved clothes in one machine and took clothes out of another. Eric was still not entirely in the right head-space and his thoughts were wandering off to when Hyde was down here with him.

His mom stood there with her hands on her hips as she stared at Eric, "Are you listening to me, Eric?" She asked and Eric slowly left the fog, "Huh?" He questioned and shifted his weight on his feet, "I am, I'm sorry that I skipped...I know I shouldn't have, but I wasn't feeling good. I think I still feel sick." He muttered and his mom just couldn't stay mad at him for long.

She sighed and shook her head, "Sometimes I don't know what I am going to do with you." She mumbled and walked over to him to feel his temperature, "Well, you do seem a little hot." She bit her lip and nodded, "Well, go up stairs and take some medicine before you head to your room." She turned back around and went to do some more laundry while Eric groggily headed up the stairs.

He skipped on taking the medicine, he didn't see any sense in taking it since he wasn't really sick, he was only feeling a tight knot in his stomach that made him feel sick. He knew it was nerves from earlier, from being with Hyde earlier. He rubbed at his face, he was high! they were both high! It didn't really mean anything between them...Did it?

No, he liked Donna. Donna is a girl and he likes girls, he thinks. he never really liked any other person besides Donna and he didn't have any of those recognizable feelings toward Hyde. He quickly walked up the stairs to his room and shut the door, resting his head against the door with his eyes closed in thought. He needed some fresh air, needed to really clear his mind from everything that was going on.

He walked over to his window and opened it up, the cool autumn breeze hitting his face, letting the chill air soak into his skin as he tried to collect his thoughts. They were high, but that isn't an excuse for what happened because they have been high together before. Maybe they were too high? Yes. Hyde was upset earlier about what was going on between them, obviously. 

Eric couldn't find any reason that something like this would happen, except for one thing that actually fit, Hyde liked him. But, he never showed any signs of liking him before so that couldn't be it. His mind felt like it was split in two, fighting with each other and making him feel sick.

He didn't know what to do or what to think, If his dad found out...God if anybody found out this happened between him and Hyde it would ruin Hyde. It would hurt Donna. He felt childish as he tried to think of every girl he ever liked, fictional or non. Flooding his mind with all things that he likes about girls and why he is attracted to them.

Oddly enough it made him feel slightly better as he laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling and ran his hand through his hair. He didn't know what to feel or think, does this make him gay? Bi maybe? No. Kissing Buddy Morgan didn't make him feel anything so he couldn't be either of those. 

But, he did feel something when he kissed Hyde.Granted, It was longer than kissing Buddy, it was...Better. Maybe because Hyde has more experience in that department. Eric licked his lips and he felt another wave of embarrassment hit him, he should have just pushed Hyde away or at least said something before he left.

Stay. That was the word he would've said before Hyde left the house, before he left the warmth of the couch and the comfort of their bodies together. He wanted him to stay, he didn't understand why, why does Hyde make him feel this way. He tried to replace Hyde with Donna in his mind.

Donna would be soft, welcoming and gentle...But, it would be different, something about it would be different. Her touch would feel different, the smell of her, the closeness. It would feel off to him, maybe he was never attracted to Donna but was attracted to the idea of her. His head started pounding and he forced himself to fall asleep, the only way he'd be able to ease his mind.

He woke up late at night, his room terribly chilly, forgetting that he hadn't shut his window. He didn't cover up with any of his covers when he slept, his body twitched to life in one giant shiver as he got up from his bed and closed the window. Rubbing his hands together and blew in them, trying to warm himself up.

He didn't want to sleep in just boxer like usual because of how cold it was in his room. Eric wasn't thinking about anything, running on autopilot as he quietly headed out of his room and down the stairs. Quietly finding his way to the basement without turning on any of the lights. It was colder in the basement now than his room was, he knew wasn't going to be able to sleep any time soon and decided to go lay on the couch.

Laying there quietly hearing the hum of the house and the occasional chirping of crickets in the garage, he heard a tapping on the door which made his heart drop. He rolled off the couch and onto the floor, not to be seen by whoever was at the door. He slowly grabbed the small round cushion that sits on top of the stool next to the couch for protection. He lifts his head up and sees the silhouette of Steven. 

He turned on the lights and relaxed, pillow still in hand as he walked up to the door, "What are you doing here?" His voice was sharp but hushed, Hyde flashed a smile, "Are you gonna let me in or let me stay in the cold?" He asked as he pressed his hands against the door window.

Eric clenched his jaw for a second before unlocking the door and letting him inside, "You still didn't answer my question." he said as Hyde walked passed him into the room, "Well, usually I sneak in here and stash some of my stuff in the 'hiding spot'." He said as he went over to the Candy Land box and stuck a bag in there.

"Why don't you hide your own stuff in your house?" Eric pointed at him with the pillow and Hyde turned around to look at Eric, "Because if my mom comes home she is most definitely going to smoke it." He grunted as he patted the box and put it back in the pile of random junk. 

Eric knew the situation with Hyde and his family, his mom leaves for days on end and returns home like she was never gone. Usually for money or items that she needs before she heads back out again, Hyde's words was like a punch in the gut, the reality of Hyde's life often did that to him.

There was some tension between them, Eric could feel it, "Are we not going to talk about-"

"Thanks for letting me stash it." Hyde interrupted and clapped his hands together as he got up off the floor, brushing something invisible from his sweater, it was easier to see Hyde wasn't meeting Eric's eyes now that he didn't have his sunglasses. Eric sat the pillow down on the couch and nodded at Hyde. 

His jaw still clenched as Hyde began to walk past him toward the door, his stomach tightened and heart began to pound, finding it's way up to his ears. "Hyde." he spoke quickly and barely a whisper, but, he could hear Hyde's footsteps stop. He didn't turn around and knew there wasn't turning back with the words that were going to come out, "...Can you stay?" He asked hesitantly and felt his whole being tense up.

Hyde took a deep breath as he walked over to Eric, "I got nothin' better to do." He mumbled back, Eric huffed a laugh through his nose and nodded. He didn't know why Hyde made him feel this way ever since he left. He didn't know if he was just confused, touch starved, or plain lonely. That he turned around to face Hyde, "You still didn't answer my question." He spoke quietly as he slowly crept closer to Hyde.

He wasn't thinking about any of his movements, he wasn't thinking about his words or implications, he just needed something to start making sense to him. He needed answers for all his questions. Hyde's hands were stuffed in his pockets as he leaned in, their foreheads barely touch, the warmth of Hyde's breath making him relax in the cold.

Hyde stared at him and shook his head, "Isn't it obvious now?" He asked as he pressed his lips against Eric's, releasing his hands from his pockets and holding Eric's cold face into his hands, craning his head up a bit more to meet his better. Eric pressed into the warmth and feeling of Hyde against him.

He didn't know what he felt but all he knew is that this felt good, this gave him warmth and that was all he needed, "Jesus you're cold." Hyde mumbled against Eric's lips and rubbed his cheeks with his thumbs. Eric nodded slightly, "I know." He grabbed at Hyde's sweater and their movements began to become more erratic in movement, grabbing each other moving around in one spot. Eric's hands found their way into Hyde's hair and held them there.

Eric let a quiet hum escape his lips which caused Hyde to move more intensely, pushing and pulling Eric toward the couch, neither of them really spoke, the only sounds escaping their lips being sighs. Eric was laid out on the couch while Hyde towered over him, their lips never disconnecting from each other. 

Hyde's lips moved from Eric's and trailed down from his cheek to his neck, Eric squirmed and felt a shock run through him as Hyde's hands moved up from under his shirt. Warm calloused hands against his cold body made him push against Hyde. He didn't want any of the sensations to stop, wanting more of Hyde's warm body against his. Forgetting entirely about how cold the basement was, 

Hyde gently bit Eric's neck, testing the waters, Eric wasn't prepared for and let out a quiet moan. He flushed at the noises he was making, it made him feel more like a pansy than he ever had before. He felt Hyde stop and it only made the embarrassment grow inside of him. 

Eric's heart was pounding and Hyde's hands moved from under his shirt and wrapped his arms around Eric's waist, face pressed into the crook of Eric's neck. He didn't expect Hyde to suddenly stop like that, Eric hesitantly lifted his arms up and slowly held Hyde. Pressing his own face into Hyde as he closed his eyes. 

His scent was thick and faintly of weed, but at the same time it was familiar and welcoming. He felt Hyde's body relax against his, he couldn't tell if he was falling asleep or was just comfortable but he felt himself slowly begin to drift further and further into sleep after every blink.


	4. I'm Sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for updating this slowly, this chapter might not be as good as the others but I hope to continue with this story throughout my quarantine lol

Eric, again, woke up without Hyde in the same place he was earlier. This time, he was thankful that he had probably left early while Eric was asleep. His mom would've been downstairs to do more laundry or go to the garage for dad, it would've been bad to see them cuddled up on the couch. Especially if his dad saw, his heart sank at the thought. He prayed to god that Hyde left earlier than usual, he didn't want to leave the couch and face his parents.

He recognized how cold he was without Hyde with him, his thoughts slowly engulfing his mind, drowning in them. He felt angry, angry at nobody in particular. He rubbed at his face, he knew it was pretty early since he heard the shower running upstairs. It was his mom, she leaves early and comes home late from the hospital as a nurse. She always says she is excited to retire, but he knows it isn't true. 

His body is heavy like lead, not wanting to move from the couch but knowing that he has to go to school today. He rubs at his face some more to wake him up and to help drain the thoughts from his head. He forces himself to work on autopilot, that's what he needs today. He finally sits up on the couch and takes a deep breath before he heads up the stairs.

He checks the clock and reads that it is 5:43 am, the shower is no longer running. The kitchen is dark and the living room is dark, he is never used to waking up so early, he is used to waking up with panic from sleeping in and rushing to get to school. Or skipping, like he did yesterday. He felt his gut churn with anxiety, heart pounding. 'They know.' His mind kept shouting at him. They know about Hyde kissing him, they saw them in the basement together last night.

He freezes in the middle of the living room when he hears footsteps coming down the stairs, his mom turns on the lamp. She takes a sharp breath when she sees Eric just standing there awkwardly. "Eric what the hell!" she says sharply as she relaxes, his mom isn't much of a morning person either. She fixes her hair and shakes her head, "Why are you just standing there like that?" She asks him as she puts on her heels. 

Eric opens his mouth to say something, usually a word vomit happens and he can be ignored. Nothing comes out, he reverts to a shrug. It was a success as his mom anxiously fixes herself up and talks about being late, excited for retirement, patients she doesn't want to deal with and she is out the door. Eric being a minor obstacle to her day. 

He needs to get ready, he knows that. He can't find it in himself to shower, he changes his top half. Wearing a faded green shirt and a random flannel. His mind roaming elsewhere as he does the typical things before he heads to school. Grabbing the keys to the vista cruiser, he hears someone clear their throat behind him.

He freezes, "What do you think you're doing?" A voice asks as he turns around, his eyes are met with his dads who is sitting at the dining table with a coffee and in his work uniform. Eric mumbles and sputters, "I uh...School...And..." Red cuts him off, "Give me the keys, you know you are grounded from the car." He huffed and held out his hand, Eric relaxed, he forgot about not being able to use the car. But hearing that was the biggest relief, he played up acting sad not using the car otherwise his dad would know something else was up.

"That's what I thought, no car for two weeks." He repeats to himself and goes back to drinking his coffee as he stuffs the car keys into his pocket. Eric walks out the sliding door and is greeted by Donna leaving the house at the same time. She smiles at him, meeting him halfway across the backyard. "Hey, where have you been? I didn't see you at school yesterday." She says as she punches him in the shoulder.

He feels more relaxed, Donna has that effect on him. He smiles back at her and shrugs, "I skipped school yesterday...Didn't feel like going." He sighed, "But, of course that means being grounded from the Vista Cruiser." He huffs as he kicks a rock away from them, "So, I'm just gonna walk to school." he flashed a lopsided smile. The wind blows Donna's hair away from her face and she shivers, she's cute when she does it, nose scrunching up and a small pout on her face. 

Eric should've grabbed his jacket if he knew he was going to be walking outside, "I'll walk with you." She states and starts leading the way, "What if I didn't want you to?" Eric teased and Donna shrugged, "You wouldn't stop me anyway." She laughs and Eric picks up the pace to walk alongside her. He feels himself escaping the odd funk he was in earlier, now more self-conscious about how he looked and if he smelled.

God, he hopes he doesn't smell like weed. That would be very, very bad for him. He noticed Donna staring at him, "What?" He asks and Donna points at his neck, "So, you skipped class to hook up with someone from school?" She breaks into a wide grin, elbowing Eric's side. His face turned hot and he stopped in his tracks, rubbing at the spot Hyde paid so much attention to. 

Word vomit, stuttering as he tried to make up a believable story about how it's not hickeys. Donna listened with a wide smile still plastered on her face, Eric continuing to ramble and grow increasingly embarrassed, "Stop it," She laughed, "I don't want to know about your sneaky little endeavors." She laughed and Eric buttoned up his flannel all the way up to his neck. He didn't car how stupid he looked with it all the way buttoned up, he didn't want anybody to see it.

"So who is it?" She asked curiously, Eric wanted to spill his guts out. He wanted this tension to be gone. He was still confused and scared, he felt alone. He stared back at Donna and shrugged, "Nobody important." As the words came out, he regretted it, but he hoped it was enough to satisfy Donna. "Jackie? Amy, Lisa, Kelly..." She listed off names and Eric laughed, "Jackie? Are you joking? Not in a million years." He shook his head as they neared the school. 

"I'm just listing off a few likely people...Jackie was more of a joke." She looked Eric over and teased him, "You look like a mess and you forgot something that is kind of necessary." She laughed at Eric's confused expression, "What? A shower, my car...My dignity." He counted on his fingers, "Donna, there are a lot of things necessary that I missed." He felt himself coming back, today would feel more normal. 

"You'll see." The bell rang and all the people that were still hanging around the steps filed into the building, Donna catching up with a few other girls that were heading to her class and Donna waved her goodbye. He looked at everyone that filled the halls, now that he was alone, he thought that he stuck out like a sore thumb. He knew he looked messier than usual, lost too. He saw Kelso flirting with Jackie against the lockers and a teacher breaking them up. 

He just had to treat it like a normal day, even if it wasn't. He walked to his first class, the teacher asking them to take out their history textbooks. He understood what Donna had meant now, he didn't have anything with him. A rough start to the day, going from class to class and having to explain to each teacher why he didn't have his things. He mostly kept everything in his car so things like this wouldn't happen; he wasn't a fan of lockers. 

Thankful that it was finally lunch time, he wasn't hungry, the school cafeteria sucked ass anyway. He felt a hand grab his shoulder and was met with Hyde's face. He quickly looked away from him and felt his face heat up, god, how did he forget to act around Hyde? He just had to act like he always did. He shoved his hands in his pockets and kept walking to their usual friend group without saying a word.

He was happy that Donna didn't mention the hickeys on his neck that she had noticed earlier, Hyde was standing closer to Eric, but maybe it was all just in Eric's head. They all stood around and talked, bashing on Eric for getting his car taken away and skipping school. "Alright, alright! I'll take one for the team and we can all use MY car." Kelso smiled and everyone groaned, "Michael, I love you. But, your vehicles are disgusting." Jackie crossed her arms over her chest and huddled close to Michael, she was wearing a jean skirt with her blue sweater tucked into it. 

Eric felt himself grow a little more chilly just staring at Jackie dressed like that, "Jesus, aren't you cold wearing that?" He asked and Jackie looked at him like he was insane, "It's called fashion, Eric. I'm not going to wear a frumpy ugly outfit to stay warm. I'm not gonna dress like Donna." She said with distaste and Donna raised a brow, "Oh! But it looks great on you." Jackie added and Donna rolled her eyes, "Thanks." 

Hyde noticed that Eric kept shifting around since he was also cold, the dumbass didn't even bring his books today. His hair looked better tossed around by the wind, a few cowlicks in it from waking up and immediately going to school. Hyde wasn't much of the 'display-affection-in-public' type. But, he could make an exception for Eric. Casually wrapping an arm around his shoulders as he spoke up, "Yeah, it really accentuates your muscles." Hyde sneered playfully, "At least I don't have disco hair." And that made Michael grow giddy, everyone knew Hyde despised Disco and Michael loved when he felt that someone was going to say a good burn.

Fez was all bundled up in different pattered layers, since it was still his first few months around here, he wasn't really used to the cold. Maybe it was always hot where ever the hell he was from. Hyde didn't really care. He felt Eric lean into him some and felt a bit of pride holding his shoulders the way he was. Even though it wasn't like Michael and Jackie, this was a big deal to him. 

Eric kept quiet and embarrassed, like all eyes were on him. But nobody noticed that Hyde was standing so close to Eric, it really was all in his head. "When is prom? I want to ask out my English teacher." He grinned and all eyes were on him, "Fez, you can't take a teacher to the prom."

"Why not? She's always writing sexy comments on my homework. 'Nice Job', 'Good Effort', 'See Me'. I think she is trying to tell me something." Kelso audible made a gagging noise, "Mrs.Davis is like ancient, man." and Fez shrugged, "I think she is trying to hit on me, any woman is good enough for Fez." 

Finally that breaks the tension from Eric and he laughs, Hyde stares at him when he begins to laugh. A faint smile appearing on his face, Eric has the goofiest grin on his face when he laughs that makes his whole face scrunch up and his eyes even smile. "God, Fez. First thing we have to teach you is how to have good taste in women." Eric says as the bell rings for lunch to be over and they all start walking, "Ugh, and a better taste in outfits." Jackie adds, standing on the tips of her toes to kiss Kelso goodbye.

It's only Hyde and Eric walking together now, his arm long gone from Eric's shoulders. Hyde leans a little closer so Eric can only hear him, "Why don't you do that to me?" He asks with a teasing pout and Eric pushes his face away, it is easy to make him embarrassed.

"Shut up, Hyde." He huffs and Hyde is able to see the faint pink splotches on Eric's neck as he turns his head, "What class are you headed to?" He asks Eric as he watches him go through his pretty much empty locker. Pulling out gym clothes with a frown, "The gym, or as I like to call it, The institute of things I can't do." The hallway is empty in their area and Hyde uses the locker door to cover their faces as he leans in closer. 

Eric's demeanor changes as he stares back into Hyde's eyes, his lips partially open, "Don't forget to cover up." He winks before he walks off and Eric feels a hint of disappointment in his gut as he watches the back of Hyde walk away. He clenches his jaw nervously and decides that he is going to skip gym. It wouldn't be the first time, but he doesn't want any comments about his neck.

Besides, he made it to school, right? That all that mattered as long as he didn't leave the building early he wouldn't risk getting caught outside again. He hid in one of the bathroom stalls, gym was his last class and then he could head out to The Hub with his friends. 

Bored out of his mind, he read some of the cravings on the bathroom stall, some saying the names of girls, poorly drawn dicks and curse words. Jesus, why doesn't the school paint over the stall walls? Something catches his eyes written in the small corner of the stall door. "God hates Fags!" Is carved into it. He felt a small pain in his chest, he is gay. Going back through his memories of being younger and hanging around Laurie, his memories of Hyde when they were younger. 

He's so stupid, why can't he accept it like Hyde can? Why does it have to be so hard? He hates this. He clenches his jaw, he's angry at Hyde for making him so confused. He's so angry that he can't go back to how things normally were, he hates how Hyde makes him feel. He wants to puke, to scream, to cry but all that comes out is a huff of air from his nose. 

The bell rings after an eternity and he just throws his gym clothes on the bathroom floor and bursts out, pushing past everybody to avoid being seen by his friends. He wants to escape, he is the first one out the door, sucking in the cold air as he rushes down the stairs and continues to run as far from the school as possible.

Running and running, his gym teacher would be disappointed in his form. He finally turns a corner and leans against someones fence as he catches his breath, his lungs hurting and heart thumping so hard against his chest that he can feel the pulse in his ears. He knew he couldn't run all the way to The Hub and face his friends, he heads to the second best location that he has the energy to walk to but is still far enough.

He makes his way to the water tower, the cold air making him feel even worse since he was sweaty from the run. Maybe he should really stop skipping the gym and genuinely try. He needed to get away from everyone and have time for himself. He didn't want to go up the water tower since being so high isn't his favorite thing in the world. He also isn't in the mood to sustain any injuries by falling off the shitty water tower. 

He looks up at it and climbs the ladder halfway, looping his body so that he he can sit there. Resting his forehead on one of the steps as he holds on with his forearms. He closes his eyes and feels his throat tighten up, ashamed of himself. He can hear his dad in the back of his head, all the things that he would say. Hell, he'd probably even kick him out of the house.

He lifts his head up and sees flurries falling down from the sky, even though it is the middle of autumn, this is the kind of weather to expect living in the Midwest. His hands are cold against the metal, his whole body is cold but he doesn't care about that anymore. He swings his legs slowly, everything that had happened before felt like a dream to him. 

The wind becoming harsher and the flurries becoming violent in the wind, he climbed back down. His cheeks and ears red from the cold. The snowflakes are thick in the air now, as they hit the ground one by one they disappear. He wishes he could do that, just sink and disappear into the ground.

Eric saw a silhouette through the snow, recognizing it as Hyde's. That was the last person that he wanted to see, but the person he expected to go searching for him first. He took a step back and looked away, staring at everything but Hyde. He wishes that he had sunglasses like Hyde always wore right now. "Jesus, I know I'd find you here. What the hell are you doing?" Hyde questioned, his demeanor didn't show any concern, it was closed off but his tone said otherwise.

"What? I can't be by myself?" Eric snapped and Hyde raised his eyebrows, "Calm down, it was only a question, man. You're not wearing anything suitable for this weather, y'know." He walked closer and Eric pushed him away to Hyde's surprise. Eric took a step back, "Calm down? What the hell is wrong with you?" Hyde immediately switched back into his usual defensive state, eyebrows furrowing and expression cold.

Finally, something normal, Eric thought. "You can't just kiss somebody like that, you can't...You can't confuse somebody just because you are!" He said in a low voice, but he could tell that it stung Hyde nonetheless. Hyde grew furious, "I'm not fucking confused, I know exactly what I am." He shouted and Eric flinched back, "God, I knew I shouldn't have told you...I knew something like this was bound to fucking happen." He spat at Eric and Eric laughed, "Really? Well you should've just stopped. I don't like you like that Hyde, Jesus...I-I like Donna."

Eric couldn't look at him while all these words were pouring out of his mouth, "I'm not gay, I don't 'Swing both ways'...I am not like you, man. I'm not an experiment either." He muttered and he heard Hyde's footsteps come closer. Hyde grabbed Eric's shoulder's tight, "Look at me...Eric, look at me, dammit." Eric finally met Hyde's eyes, he could see that he hurt him. 

He saw Hyde in pain like this before, a long time ago when they were kids and his dad left. He had hoped that he would come back, but he didn't. His mother soon started to do the same, everything fell apart around him and Eric was there no matter what. "I'm not confused, I'm not toying with you...If you like Donna tell me now and I'll leave you alone. But you have to look at me." His arms squeezed Eric, 'Don't leave me too'. 

Eric stared him in the eyes, his throat clenching up like he was going to burst into tears then and there. Like this is some sappy movie where they hug it out and apologize, kissing passionately in the snow and sharing a blanket later by the fire place. Eric opened his mouth, his voice cracking and quiet, "I like Donna."


	5. Small Victories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am trying to get some chapters in for the juicy bits since I know you guys are waiting for it lol

Hyde let him go slowly and nodded, "Hyde...I'm-" He waved him off. "Save your breath, you've said enough." His words were sharp and he was still composed as he walked away from Eric. Eric hadn't seen Hyde like that, usually he fights back. He was hoping that Hyde would've at least fought him in some way. He watched him disappear, his mind was telling him that it was the right thing to do. He would get over it and start dating some girl or maybe secretly hookup with other men.

Apparently, he doesn't really know Hyde that well after all. He walked the long way home, the clouds in the sky making the world around him feel grim and depressing. His nose was dripping from the cold and he felt hollow, his mind kept reminding him it was the right thing. But his heart said otherwise, his heart wanted him to chase down Hyde and shout that he was sorry. His heart craved for his warmth and how gently they touched each other.

He wished that there was someone he could talk to about all this, but that person would've been Hyde. He not only lost the person that he was close to, but he also lost his best friend of many years. He made it home to his parents scolding him about being out in this weather, he lied and said that he was at Michael's house earlier that is why he walked. His mom commented on how cold he was, his dad making a comment about him being skin and bones, that is why he is so cold. 

He was physically and emotionally numb, standing in the hot shower. His mind blank, going back into his room and laid in bed silently. Staring at the ceiling and wrapped himself up under the blankets. He turned off his lamp and closed his eyes, this was the right thing to do his mind repeated. 

***

Hyde's house was the same temperature as outside, he didn't care today. Usually he would blame it on his mom for not paying off any of their bills for this shit hole. He pulls out a cigarette to smoke, it did its job of calming his nerves. He knew he shouldn't have gotten himself hooked up on Eric, he was being a fucking idiot for believing it was all going well.

Hyde hugged himself on the couch, puffing on his cigarette and bounced his legs anxiously, Eric had good blackmail on him. Hyde told him something that nobody else knew, that was terrifying to think about. He quickly got up and turned on his TV an episode rerun of M*A*S*H was playing which he wasn't really a fan off. But, unlike Eric, he had a decent colored TV that made the show just a little more entertaining.

He heard a knock at the door and his heart jolted, secretly hoping Eric was going to come back and hug him. Ending in a romantic apology and holding each other on the couch. When he answered the door his mom pushed past him, "I'm here to pick up some stuff." She said nonchalantly, "It's freezing in here isn't it?" She asked as she looked over Hyde.

He kept his mouth shut and continued to puff the last bit of his cigarette before his mom made a gesture for him to give her one, he obliged and she lit it before she walked the small path to her room. Hyde was too upset to care that she was here just to leave again. He had other things on his mind and starting a fight wit his mom wasn't one of them.

She would stay home once and a while, when she was too drunk to handle, people would drop her off on the couch and she would sleep the rest of the day away before she was gone the next morning. Sometimes she wouldn't come home at all, Hyde wouldn't be surprised to open the door to an officer and hear that his mom drank her life away and died in some alley with a bottle in her hand.

She would ask Hyde for money, weed, clothes, cigarettes, booze, whatever she knew Hyde was keeping in the house. And he always gave it to her, because deep down he still loved her. Deep down, he held a bit of hope for the day she finally settles down and gets a good job. The day he wakes up to a warm house and breakfast cooking.

He assumed Eric wouldn't want to see him in the basement anymore, which was fine by him. But it would be nice to be warm once and a while, along with someone to talk to. He'd rather have a dad that was hard-ass and a mom that was too caring and sweet than the parents he had now. Eric didn't know how lucky he was.

Maybe it was his mindset that made him grow in confidence, he was standing from his seat on the couch and watched his mom come out of her room with a few shirts that are probably too small for her now. She stared back, a thick fog circling her head from the cigarette she held between her lips. "I'm gay." He said at her and stood his ground, what is the worst she can do? Kick him out of this dump of a house? Scream at him?

She stared at him for a long moment, "Your father and I always knew you'd end up a pansy, I think you take after from him." She huffed, "You know god won't forgive you." She muttered and pointed at him with the T-shirts clutched in the same hand. "Yeah, well if you think god can forgive you for the shit you've done...I think I would rather go to hell." 

Hyde held his chin up high and his mom laughed, "You think this is funny? You don't fucking joke about these things Hyde. I've given you a roof over your head and I can take it away!" She shouted and Hyde laughed sarcastically, he saw this coming. He looked around, "I would be happy to leave this shit-hole! A roof over my head..." He shook his head and took a cigarette out, as he put it between his lips, it was gone. 

His cheek stung and unexpectedly bit his lip, tasting a bit of blood. He was surprised at how hard his mom's smack was, it took him aback, "I've paid for this house, I fed you, I clothed you and it's not good enough?" She shouts and shakes her head at him, "Burn in hell, Steven." She flicks the cigarette at his feet and heads out for the door, "I didn't raise a fag." The door slams behind her and he hears the car pull out of the driveway a minute later. 

He stands there and wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand, his cheek still stinging from the smack. At least this cleared his mind of Eric for a few moments. M*A*S*H still audible in the background, "It's too big a world to be in competition with everybody else, the only guy I have to get better than is who I am right now." 

Hyde turned around and shut the TV off, he didn't need to hear all that sappy shit right now. He just wanted silence, he just wanted a little peace. Coming out to his mom didn't even mean anything to him, he knew what he was expecting and would've been surprised if it went any different. "That would've been a twist." He muttered to himself as he laid on the couch. Staring at the rotting ceiling with a faint grin on his face, he felt like he won against her at least. 

She didn't have anything to take away from him, she tried going at his dignity but with the skanky clothes she had in her hand and the reasons for leaving the house so often. She didn't have any dignity herself, he let out a deep breath and saw the fog leave his face before he closed his eyes. Forcing himself into a state of sleep.


End file.
